so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
