then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
