I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Randomize
