So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
