You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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