im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
