is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
