Just cropdusted the office
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
