Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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