Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
