can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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