At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize