so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
