just come out here and I will go home with you...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
