I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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