"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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