do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
