drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
