chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
