You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
