First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize