I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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