it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
