East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
