Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do vagina's smell?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
