Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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