just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
