She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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