just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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