i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
