When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My feet surprised me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
