Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Boobs are out for the taking
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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