i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
