yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
