Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
