So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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