I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
