Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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