Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize