We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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