i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
