Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize