god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
