you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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