SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
