I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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