I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Randomize
