it wasn't lemon gatorade
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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