Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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