So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
