you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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