go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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