i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
