Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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