Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
