I heard we made out
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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