So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
