she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Shame - the story of my life.
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