Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize